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The biggest thing that I noticed in this story is how it is written. It is written in the second person using “you” for the character. The character has no name and no description of any sort. At first I didn’t notice it, but as I kept reading I kept searching for a name before it hit me that I was supposed to be the character. Or at least putting me in the shoes of the character.

This is an interesting technique because it let me get a little bit more emotionally involved with the story or at least feel better what the character was supposed to be feeling at the time. This was brought out the most with the sex scene with the tall guy. It was jarring and there was little to no strong emotion other than a sort of numbness that was implied in the story. If it was supposed to be passionate, the type of language Rivecca used would have been more forceful and direct. Instead, it was surprisingly passive and very low key.

I think writing in the second person would be an interesting technique to force your readers to put themselves in the story more fully. It could also be an interesting thing to do because you will have to become more focused on the type of words you use so you can channel the emotional outset that you want your character to be feeling and manipulate the thoughts that the character is supposed to be having.

One Response to “it sounds like you’re feeling”

  1. Kaitlin says:

    I thought that, too – that Rivecca used “you” to involve the reader in the story, and for the most part it worked well because I understood the emotions she was describing and telling me that I felt a certain way made me feel that way when I read it. However, there were a couple times when the character did something that, because of the “you”, made me think, in the middle of the story, “I wouldn’t actually do that”. That threw me out of the story a bit.